Ayahuasca Retreats: A Complete Guide to New-Age Tripping

In a modern era defined by devices, connectivity, and AI, our uncertainty has been stimulated into distraction. We dance unknowingly between two worlds — our bodies in the physical, our attention in the digital — and have since forgotten that we hold the world at our fingertips. Even if we did remember, we wouldn’t know what to do with it. Our lonely minds are elsewhere: intertwined in the invisible threads that hold these two worlds together, preoccupied with scrolling through time because Hey, who wants to feel these emotions anyway?

So, like moths to a flame, we are pulled instinctively toward promises of “well-being,” “wellness,” and “cleansing” in a desperate attempt to fulfill our empty cravings: to uncover answers to questions that have no answers except the ones to which we decide to give meaning — Who am I? Why am I here? What does it all mean?

But somewhere along the way, we’ve forgotten what it means to live with meaning.

Because somewhere along the way, we’ve lost our understanding of what is meaningful.

Or maybe, we never really knew at all.

AYAHUASCA: SEEKING ANSWERS IN THE FLAME OF SUFFERING

Let’s be honest, you have so many questions about ayahuasca.

Why?

Because so much of the information out there is shrouded in mystery. Not only that but also the anecdotal stories are hard to believe. And who can blame you?: People puking in buckets, dancing around like maniacs, yelling incoherent babble, shamans chatting mystical songs, smoke-filled rooms with dozens of strangers crying hysterically, seeing unimaginable visions, reliving past experiences as though they were real…

Yeah, terrifying.

A lot of the noise around ayahuasca makes it seem like you lose complete control of yourself. And in a way, you do. And that’s a good thing.

But, you’ve also heard more and more stories emerge about its potential “healing effects.” You’ve become curious. You’ve heard people talk. You’ve read the articles and anecdotes that populate Google searches, Reddit, and your circle of friends.

But there is a major problem: most of the information is shit. It’s not helpful. At least it wasn’t for me.

The problem is that most of the information surrounding Ayahuasca Retreats is either clouded in mystery, an anecdotal story, or sold as some fancy-ass five-star experience for an absurd length of time and an even more absurd price point. The truth is, you don’t need to spend two weeks and years’ worth of savings to experience ayahuasca safely (more on this later).

Right now, ayahuasca is, for lack of a better term, a global experiment. Because of that, the only consistent information out there consists of people sharing their subjective experiences without keeping in mind that everyone is different — and they aren’t sharing meaningful, practical tips. They also aren’t sharing the details of the experience: the preparation, what to expect, how to choose the right place, what it feels like, what it is like after, and if you will shit yourself…Wait! What? Err — Never mind that for now.

I knew I wanted to try ayahuasca but where? When? With whom? How much? Is it safe? Which country? What will happen to me? Will I see God or some other scary-ass deity? Why is everyone puking in buckets?

You get the point: I had a lot of questions.

Most importantly was, is it going to change my brain forever and do I want that to happen?

Personally, I didn’t want that. The idea of tripping so hard that I fry my brain or become a completely different person didn’t really appeal to me.

What I really wanted was answers — answers to questions about who I was and where I was going in life.

This article is going to answer all of those questions that I had before my three consecutive ceremonies (yes, three) and that you probably have regarding ayahuasca. And, of course, whether or not you should do it.

1. THE MOST COMMONLY ASKED QUESTION: WILL I PUKE DURING AN AYAHUASCA RETREAT?

100% yes. In fact, I would say you need to puke.

Why?

Because it will make your experience more pleasurable.

Do I know that for sure? No, not really.

My guides believed in clearing the emotional blockages and repressed energy. After my first ceremony, it was very clear that they found it necessary to puke, especially if it was your first time doing ayahuasca. I could throw some spiritual nonsense at you like, If you vomit you can clean your energy to allow the free flow of emotions and provide the brush for ayahuasca to paint the answers to the story of your life.

But, after going deep into the dark corners of my mind, I’m still a realist. Even though many people claim it to be a purge caused by emotions and ancestral spirits, it’s because ayahuasca acts on 5HT3 serotonin receptors — inducing the vomit reflex. With a sizable dose of ayahuasca, your body will feel the need to get it out of your body.

I will say that on the nights that I vomited intensely, I was able to relax into the experience — my body felt lighter, my mind clearer.

Intense vomit. Sounds unpleasant, I get it. Frightening even. All of us have unpleasant memories and emotions tied to vomiting: drinking too much, being ill, food poisoning, and so on. Needless to say, no one enjoys vomiting.

During my first ceremony, I went in with this strong desire to puke, and the conviction that it would “cleanse my body” of any negative energy and blockages and make my experience more profound. However, my subconscious had an even stronger desire not to puke. Who can blame the ole’ subconscious, though: all my past experiences of puking had been not enjoyable to say the least. During the ceremony, it even got to a point where I felt pressured to puke: sitting upright on my mat, perched on one arm, I felt the brew begin to warm my body. My stomach churned. My eyes began to close. It was peaceful in my mind. I wanted to follow the medicine deep into my mind. Yet, my guide kept whispering to me, “Drink more water,” and the shaman left his perch to come sit alarmingly close to me and chant directly into my ear: the message of the plant was flowing through him telling me to purge.

Yeah, intense, I know. I was there.

You’ll puke more, and harder than you ever thought possible. You’ll stare deep into the black, endless pit of the bucket, have tears streaming down your face, boogers running from your nose, and be reduced to a toddler as you sheepishly reach for the tissues being handed to you to wipe the vomit off your face and mucus running down your nose.

And the best part? It will be strangely enjoyable.

Your body will feel the need to vomit. The question is, will you let yourself?

(Maybe this research will help you. If that doesn’t convince you, maybe Question 2 will.)

2. THE SECOND MOST ASKED QUESTION (MAYBE): WILL I SHIT MYSELF?

I did.

Whew — now that that’s off my chest and shared on the internet for the world to see, for the rest of my life…

I’m not sure there is much more to say here.

I want to defend myself and say that it is “so normal” that my guides said they keep adult pampers on hand.

But the other part of me, the one that experienced it, wants to talk about it.

Sparing you the details, I’ll just say that it is a possibility and you can do what you want with that information.

If it helps, I had zero idea that I had actually shit myself until after the ceremony was over and I stood up to go to my room. From there, well, it was a very personal experience of growth and introspection into the human condition.

I’ll leave you with this: purging is a key part of the process. The night this “other purge” happened, I couldn’t get myself to vomit. I did a little, but it was insignificant. I have a strong feeling that the body will find a way to purge, better if you let it be through your mouth.

3. WHAT THE HECK IS AYAHUASCA ANYWAY?

I’m not going to give you some science-y definition. That’s not helpful.

Here’s what you need to know: IT IS A DRUG! And a very powerful one at that.

There I said it.

100% of everything I read online relates back to ayahuasca being a “spiritual, plant-based medicine,” and while that may be true, it is still a very powerful drug. Just because throngs of users insist on calling it a “medicine” doesn’t magically make it any less of a drug than it is. And people should know that upfront.

Why am I telling you this?

Well, after my ceremonies, I thought about how many people might try ayahuasca thinking it’s just a simple “plant medicine” that they drink, feel a little weird, have some visions, and then are cured.

That would be a mistake.

I’m not recommending taking drugs, but having some previous knowledge of what psychedelics are capable of, and feel like, would probably be helpful.

4. WHAT IS THE AYAHUASCA RETREAT EXPERIENCE LIKE?

One word: work.

Well, not really. But everyone on the internet calls it “work.” Even I fell prey to that narrative.

At the end of everything, the “work” involved is integrating the insights gained during the ceremony into everyday life. In other words: reflecting on the visions and experience, and then taking action. One thing ayahuasca will not do for you is take the action needed to change your life. You’ll be in trouble if you think it will.

During the ayahuasca ceremony itself, you don’t do much of anything, physically. You’ll lay on your mat for hours. (I’ve read stories of people walking around, yelling, and dancing, but if done right, the most you’ll be able to move is to crawl to all fours and puke. And then happily return to the fetal position.)

Mentally, well, that’s a whole different story — and where the contradiction between “work” and “no work” lies. You’re going to see and feel some shit you’ve never seen or felt before, and your mental state and fortitude will determine the level of “work” required.

Your perception of what you “see” and experience will determine whether or not the experience is work.

Sure, you’ll disappear from everything you’ve ever known as reality, be reduced to an incapacitated mass of flesh and bone curled up in the fetal position, go to the deepest recesses of your mind that you never knew existed, confront demons, fears, and past memories, look at yourself with all of your flaws and weaknesses plastered and glowing in plain sight, and be forced to face creatures that will lurk up from the mind’s abyss in an almost nightmarish fashion, all while seemingly floating endlessly in a swirling, colorful, rapidly transforming dimension that consists of no end and no time…But work? Nah, you’ll be fine.

Even though I can’t give you the exact details of what lies buried in the depths of your mind, I can give you a rough outline of what to expect:

1. You’ll go to your ceremony room in the evening, usually around sundown: 7–8 pm-ish.
2. In my case, there was a nurse present. She/He will take your vitals and blood pressure (oxygen levels if you are at altitude — Re: Peru) and ask you a few questions about how you are feeling. (I’m not sure if all retreats do this, but I liked it. I felt safe.)
3. Next, you’ll go to your mat on the floor and sit (I’m no expert, but I highly recommend having a 2L bottle of water with you — ayahuasca and purging dehydrate you massively. And the water will taste calming. Yes, you read that correctly. Just trust me on this one.)
4. Your guides and shaman will explain what is about to happen: that you are about to trip your face off and good luck, basically.
5. They will pour the dark brown sludge into a shitty plastic cup and meticulously measure it out while you sit in nervous anticipation knowing that you know nothing about what is about to happen.

Here it’s important to note that every place is different in the amount they provide. It might even vary from person to person. Many stories I’ve read online mention taking two cups — one at the beginning and another one partway through the ceremony — I recommend discussing this with your guides before you start.

My retreat gave me one cup. The guide would come around at points through the ceremony and ask you if you were “seeing visions” or how you were feeling. Depending on your answer, they might provide an option to drink another cup. I loved this. Why? Because as I said before, everyone is so different, and I’m so glad I had the “choice.”

I stuck with one cup each night. The person who joined me on the second night took two cups and regretted it. When I asked my guide after the second ceremony why I was only given one cup and not two like the other person, he replied, “When I came to ask you how you were feeling you said, ‘Everything is so beautiful.’ Would you have wanted to change that?” That’s all I needed to hear.

1. Once you have your cup in hand, the shaman will start talking to Mother Ayahuasca and you’ll take a moment to ask Her to guide you, to show you what you need to see, and most importantly, you will set a clear intention…
2. Be sure to set a single intention or question for each separate ceremony. This will be your anchor when you, inevitably, spiral uncontrollably into parts unknown. For my first ceremony, it was simply Who am I? (Mother Ayahuasca will take care of the rest.)
3. Next, you drink (I so desperately want to write something about the “horrible taste” like I’ve seen in every single post, blog, and article ever written about ayahuasca, but honestly, it’s not that bad. I mean, it’s not quench-your-thirst-on-a-hot-summer-day delicious, but it’s fine. Drink it fast. Stop being a baby. It’s a thick, brown “liquid.” What do you expect it to taste like like? Besides, it’s what you came for, isn’t it?
4. The shaman also drank with us. I’m not sure if this is normal, but it made me feel incredibly secure. (The person who was going to guide me through the craziest journey of my life with songs coming directly through him from the plant itself, was also going to trip along. Yeah, that’s rad.)
5. At this point, the shaman will get up and start “cleansing” you and the ceremony room with Agua de Florida and tobacco smoke, or something of the sort. The shaman might spit Agua de Florida around you and your mat, or in my case, directly onto your head and into your face. They might even pour some into your cupped hands, and you’ll pat it onto your face and waft it into your nostrils to calm yourself. They will spit it all around the room to clear the path for the journey ahead. The shaman will aggressively puff on rolled cigarettes to fill the room with enough tobacco smoke to give even the toughest spirits a cough.
6. Then the weirdest part: you wait.
7. And wait…
8. They turn off all the lights. The room gets dark.
9. Out of the corner of your eye, you see the fervent red glow of the shaman’s rolled cigarette with each tobacco-infused PUFF.
10. And wait…
11. It feels like a very long time. I wonder how long it’s been?
12. This is a really big room. I’m glad the walls are actually windows.
13. The shaman starts to chant. Well, that sounds nice.
14. Then, a little tingle…
15. Man, he sings well. I wonder what he’s saying?
16. A wiggle of the toes…
17. A little warmth flushes through your body…
18. Ha —
19. An involuntary half-laugh…
20. Oooooo, the moon looks pretty tonight.
21. Ahhhhh, life really is cool, isn’t it?
22. Hmmmmm, it hurts sitting cross-legged. I think I’ll lie down. Wait, I should still sit up so I can puke when I’m ready. Do I have to puke? I don’t really want to puke. That was never fun. Dude, you should totally puke. They said you’ll feel better. He said we must be on all fours to puke, right? Yeah, that’s what he said. I’d better start moving a little then…
23. Oh, I’m already leaning to the side perched on my left arm. When did that happen? I don’t think I can lean on my arm like this for long. My arm’s already getting tired. Okay, sit forward and put my right arm around my right knee.
24. Ahh — that’s better. I look cool this way.
25. Wait, what was I thinking about?
26. Whoaaa…I think I’m feeling something.
27. I hope I can puke. But I don’t want to. Sounds icky.
28. Ewww — someone else is vomiting. Nasty. Ugh — I can hear it filling the bucket. Shit, do I need to vomit, too? I should…
29. I’m just going to lie down. That’ll be nice.
30. Yeah, good idea.
31. Ahhh — this is nice.
32. Make sure to say thank you to them for helping cover you with the blankets. “Thank you.”
33. Oh, I’m lying down. Who covered me with the blankets?
34. Smile.
35. Whoa — closing my eyes is different. Nice.
36. I feel heavy…
37. Hey, what’s that?
38. Shit, my stomach.
39. Should I move now?
40. I’ll have to take the blankets off and sit up.
41. Fuck. That’s a tremendous amount of work. I mean, really man, how the hell are you going to do all that sitting-up stuff right now?
42. Maybe I can just puke while lying down…
43. Let’s at least be sure…
44. I remember: water. Right hand. Grab bottle. Prop up on elbow. Locate the top. Oh yeah, open your eyes, that’ll help. Eyes open. Set bottle down. Hold with left hand. Cap located. Unscrewing with right hand. Cap off. Set down cap. Lift to drink. Shit, just poured it all over the mat. Recalibrate. Sit up. Drink. Yesss! Did it. That was a tiny sip. Drink more. Gulp. That’s yummy. Burp.
45. Shit. The cap. Fuck it. That is lost forever and will never be found by anyone on Planet Earth. Bottle down.
46. Let’s get to all fours just in case…
47. Hmmm…maybe I don’t have to vomit yet.
48. Relax. Breathe. Sit back on your knees for a second.
49. Better grab the bucket…
50. All fours feels weird. Why —
51. BAARRRFFFF (hopefully).
52. WTF…the bucket is a black hole. I’ve never seen black so…black. Is there a face coming out of the bucket? What is happ —
53. BAARRRFFFF
54. Ohhh Myyy! That felt so good.
55. Who is handing me tissues?
56. I should take them. Grab. Wipe face.
57. Did I even wipe my face? I think I missed completely. That’s fine. Reach for more. Pat on face. Goodddddd.
58. Am I crying? I’m not crying you’re crying.
59. Say thank you. “Thank you.”
60. Lie down now. “I’m going to lie down now.”
61. Love that they help me with the blankets. Okay, get cozy. What a nice cocoon I’ve created. This is nice…

And that’s pretty much it! Everything you can expect.

From there, you’re going wherever Mother Ayahuasca needs to take you. You’ll most likely lie down, close your eyes, and watch your brain do things you didn’t know it could do. And see things that you’ll struggle to find the words to explain (which you’ll realize when you try to explain to others what you “saw” and “felt” later).

In their book, “True Hallucinations,” Dennis and Terence McKenna described that taking ayahuasca is a “vegetable television:” You sit and watch answers pour at you directly from the sacred Amazon.

That’s not work if you ask me.

My final thoughts on the narrative of ayahuasca being “work”: The more I reflect on my experience with ayahuasca and the prevailing narrative on the internet around it being “work,” the more I see it as some people rationalizing their use of it and their reasons for doing it repeatedly. Like all things self-improvement, there is a point at which you cross the effectiveness threshold and just do it because you can’t let it go. (Mark Manson talks about the dilemma here.)

This starts to reach into the question of ayahuasca’s effectiveness as a “medicine,” and that’s an argument for a different post (coming soon).

5. REALLY, SCOTT, WHAT DOES AYAHUASCA FEEL LIKE?

Okay, okay. I realize you’re nervous and want to know more about what it feels like. Or, if you’re going to die. I get it.

Here’s the truth: ayahuasca gets you high as fuck!

And that feels pretty good.

(Hey, if the internet won’t be honest, I will.)

A lot of what you feel during the ceremony will come down to your perception of what you “see” and experience, as well as your interpretation of it afterward.

It’s important to understand a little science here. Ayahuasca ingestion results in a slew of interactions, “the most important occurs between the β-carbolines MAO inhibitor effect and the DMT content.”

In simple terms, when combined, DMT will make you hallucinate and see wild shit, and the MAO inhibitor effect will increase serotonin levels in your body, which should, hypothetically, make you feel happy.

The problem is that people react differently to this combination, mostly the MAO-A inhibition.

Why?

Who the fuck knows. Science doesn’t even know for sure.

Really, everyone is so different. Everyone has different levels of serotonin in circulation, moods, history, memories, and whatever the heck else makes us us.

It’s complicated.

This strong serotonergic effect of ayahuasca hits differently. For me, I smiled like a crazy person — like really smiled — for five hours every night for three nights in a row. Mostly.

For others, it might cause irritability and agitation. Couple that with being dropped unexpectedly into the realest, most life-like dream you’ve ever experienced, and you’ve got an interesting predicament.

Here’s some science to help me explain:

Considering the psychological therapeutic benefits, the emphasis is on the induction of an introspective dream-like experience characterized by visions, autobiographic and emotional memories which increase mindfulness capacities (Soler et al., 2015), as well as on the intellectual and spiritual insights gained during the encounters with ayahuasca. Ayahuasca experiences are a constant flow of mental contents, during which knowledge is gained by intuition rather than logic. They also show a high level of overall coherence. The level of self-reflection, reminiscence, ethical sensation, prosocial behavior (Frecska, 2008), creative thinking (Frecska et al., 2012), and redemption (de Rios et al., 2002) can be increased or elicited during the experiences. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4773875/

Your ration, thinking mind gets turned wayyyyyy down, and your sensory experience, feeling, and intuition get ramped up — again, something you’ve never experienced before.

Everyone is different, thus, everyone’s experience with ayahuasca will be different. But, there is a very good chance it will feel fucking awesome.

6. HOW LONG DOES AYAHUASCA LAST?

Don’t worry. Time doesn’t exist where you’ll be going.

No, I’m not joking.

You’ll have no perception of time. Leave it that way.

(The other person who joined me in my second ceremony brought his phone to the ceremony and checked the time throughout. He said his mind wanted to keep checking. He said he regretted it.)

Real Answer:

• After 20 minutes, you’ll start to feel something.
• Between 20–40 minutes, you’ll get tingly, see colors and shapes, etc., and puke heavily into a bucket (I only puked for about 2 minutes. It might stir up here and there, but just vomit and be done with it.)
• For 4 hours, you’ll trip your face off.
• After 4 hours, you’ll start to see reality off in your mind’s horizon. It will be bittersweet: it’ll be like seeing an old friend again. But that old friend was kind of an asshole sometimes and not nearly as cool as your newest friend, Aya.
• You’ll drift away again to go hang out with Aya. She’s cool. You like her. But this time, she takes you gently by the hand to nowhere in particular.
• After 4 hours and 45 minutes, you’ll open your eyes for the first time because you’ll have forgotten that you have the magnificent capability of seeing with your eyeballs. The sight of real reality will momentarily shock you.
• You’ll think to yourself, “What the actual fuck just happened?”
• You’ll realize that you just went to another dimension and, amazingly, survived.
• You’ll smile to yourself.
• You’ll move around a bit just to confirm you still have a body that is firmly attached to your head (your head being the only human part protruding from beneath a mound of blankets).
• Once confirming that, yes, your head and body are indeed attached securely, you might adjust positions, or you might not.
• 4 hours and 47 minutes in, you’ll decide to chill on the mat just a little bit longer. You’re not ready to let it end just yet. And you want to dance upon the line between worlds: this new, mental abyss behind your eyes and the reality an eyelid’s-width away.
• About 5 hours in, you’ll flirt between worlds, you’re eyes opening more frequently, slowly letting life back in.
• Finally, around 5 hours and 30 minutes after you’d checked the bottom of your cup to see if, yes, you’d just drank all the ayahuasca that was in there, you’ll decide to let go and accept that you just went through something very unique, and very special. And, that you still don’t really know what just happened: you physically went nowhere, but mentally…
• At this point, you’ll realize that it’s time to get some sleep. Or get off the mat at least.
• Or maybe, you’re one of those people who will dance naked under the starlit sky as you howl obscenities and past traumas at the moon as tears streak down your cheeks while crying in hysteria. Who knows?
• (I’ve read instances of people congregating after ceremonies to discuss their experiences: I would highly recommend against it. What you’ve just gone through will be one of the most intense and unique experiences of your life. Your mind will be exhausted. It’ll be fragile. I wouldn’t cloud your experience with other people’s lessons and discoveries — as a Human, you will certainly, unconsciously, start drawing comparisons between others’ experiences and your own. In such a vulnerable state, you might start to incorporate their lessons and insights into your own experience, or even worse, regret that you didn’t experience what they had or see the things that they had seen. Even more, trying to formulate words to describe the feelings that you’ve just felt, which you’ve never felt before, and things you aren’t entirely sure have words to describe them, is a big task. Better you go sleep and let your brain rest so it can unravel the thread tomorrow.)

7. WHAT HAPPENS TO YOUR BRAIN ON AYAHUASCA?

Since you’re probably not a nerd like me and won’t read this study about ayahuasca, here are some cool findings:

1. Brain monitoring found increases in areas of the brain that regulate emotional arousal and that are responsible for the informational processing of emotions.
2. A part of the brain (the visual cortex) is stimulated, which makes your imagined images appear just as real as what you see with your eyes open. Basically, what you see when you are lying there with your eyes closed will look and feel very, very real.
3. Alternate informational pathways are opened during ayahuasca experiences: information transfer changes modes.
4. The Default Mode Network (DMN), which is responsible for daydreaming, is turned off. Additionally, some cognitive processes, like logical thinking, are turned off.
5. You become more suggestible because some mental processes and perceptions of the external environment are suspended.
6. Left-hemisphere activity increases, which leads to repressed memories becoming conscious and bringing along the associated emotions: this allows for the re-processing of traumatic memories.
7. Changes to the neocortex result in changes to perception, cognition, reasoning, and behavior.
8. Emotions and sensory experiences are intensified. We learn more through sensory experiences than thinking.
9. Ayahuasca-induced changes in many areas of the brain involved in feelings, memories, vision, and consciousness allowed for amplified introspection and problem-solving related to past and current life stressors, and for powerful envisioning and strategizing of solutions for a more hopeful future.
10. NOTE: There is no mention of your brain being fried or you becoming a vegetable. Although, if you have certain prior mental illnesses, ayahuasca is not advisable.

8. OKAY, SERIOUSLY. WILL AYAHUASCA CHANGE MY BRAIN FOREVER AND WILL I BECOME A DIFFERENT PERSON?

No.

Stop listening to crazy people on the internet.

Remember this: most of the people who have gone to far-flung parts of the world in search of ayahuasca retreats to do ayahuasca in the past decade — and then share their experiences with anyone who will listen — are probably missing a few screws. (Wait…isn’t that what I’ve done and am doing right now? Err — that’s not important right now.)

The point is that some people aren’t entirely rational when they hop online or talk to their friends to share very emotional experiences. You can’t always listen to every single word people say and assume it will apply to your life and your unique experiences.

But seriously, you are not going to magically change into a completely different person after doing ayahuasca.

It might make your brain a little less neurotic, but that’s about it.

So if people tell you that after an ayahuasca retreat their brain magically changed forever or that they changed into a completely different person all of a sudden, well, they don’t understand themselves very well.

9. THEN WHY DOES EVERYONE CLAIM THAT IT’S SO “LIFE-CHANGING?”

Well, because people are nuts.

Sort of.

The anecdotes you hear about ayahuasca tend to come fresh off people’s ayahuasca experiences. They are still flying high, their newfound revelations and feelings still embers from the flames of plant-induced madness.

They don’t always share the full story, either. And, paying thousands of dollars to attend a fancy retreat for a few weeks that provides moderate, or short-lived, returns is a tough truth to swallow — the sunk-cost fallacy is very real.

There is a need to inject some non-ayahuasca-fueled truth and reason into the ayahuasca-will-change-your-life conversation. I see the tides of people gravitating toward a possible false hope. It is dangerous to assume that simply going to an ayahuasca retreat and drinking the brew will magically cure your health issues, marital problems, disease, depression, anxiety, or any other issue that you might have going on.

I’m not saying that it can’t change your life. It can. But not by simply drinking the brew, lying on a mat for hours, seeing some weird shit, then going home. It doesn’t work like that.

It’s more complicated than you’ve read or heard.

I need to make this very clear: nothing changes unless you change.

10. IF AN AYAHUASCA RETREAT DOESN’T CHANGE YOUR LIFE, WHAT DOES?

The real benefit comes from ayahuasca-induced memories(just made that up, but it’s very real) in combination with the retreat providing you an arena to process your ayahuasca visions. Ayahuasca retreats create favorable conditions for you to change as a person.

The easiest way to explain what happens in the weeks, months, or years after an ayahuasca experience is this: remember that time when you were young and had that very emotionally charged experience that has forever imprinted itself into your brain? And then you developed a narrative and meaning around that experience that has since informed who you are, what kind of person you are, and what you deserve in life? Remember that?

Well, ayahuasca experiences carry the same conditions: it is one of the most intense, emotionally-charged experiences you will confront as a Human: the vividness of the dream state you enter is so life-like and so real, that new neural pathways are stimulated simultaneously — you’re creating one of the strongest episodic memories you can ever have: ayahuasca-induced memories.

On top of that, you are choosing to do it and you are doing it with intent.

Why does all this matter?

The combination of life-like dreams + intense emotions + intent + expectation = potential life-changing ayahuasca-induced memories

See, your ayahuasca experience will give you answers (uncovered thoughts and memories) because of the parts of the brain it stimulates and destimulates. Those answers will be delivered to you by way of some freakishly mind-bending imagery intertwined with intense emotional brain arousal; thus, you become the winner of some very powerful memories.

Who cares about memories?

You should.

Ayahuasca on its own does not forever alter your brain, thoughts, and behaviors. Like your brain always does, it will, inevitably, return to baseline. Albeit with these new, shiny, ayahuasca-induced memories in tow.

These powerful memories are 1) what you will interpret and develop narratives and meaning around, 2) what you’ll then use to change your thoughts and behaviors, and 3) what you’ll use to remind yourself to love yourself more, and be more present, loving, and empathetic.

Depending on the narratives you attribute to your visions — and the meaning you give these narratives — these ayahuasca-induced memories have the potential to be your motivation to take back control of your life.

Give your ayahuasca-induced memories the right meaning and they will be answers that you were gifted. Then consciously take action steps to implement them into your life, in whatever ways necessary, and you will give yourself what you were seeking from the start: change.

Again, let’s let science explain:

The psychotherapeutic effect, however, does not only depend on the experience and its phenomenal content or depth. In addition, it depends on how much the insights gained during the experiences become integrated into the everyday life of the participants afterward. Without adequate integration any experience loses its therapeutic potential in time. [House (2007) ]warned that psychedelic experiences can carry the feeling that the desired psychological change happened during the experience itself. Such feelings are, however, illusionary and by diverting the participants from real integration they may cause more harm than benefit.

Another possible pitfall emphasized by Trichter (2010) is the phenomenon of spiritual bypassing, which occurs when individuals escape into repeated spiritual practice in order to avoid their psychological blockages.

And more science:

Ayahuasca-induced insights facilitate self-reflection, producing changes in self perspectives that can trigger psychodynamics insights which provide solutions to personal problems that underlie maladaptive lifestyles. Ayahuasca helps resolve personal conflicts by providing conscious insights into patterns of psychological functioning that underlie pathological behaviors such as substance abuse and dependence. Participants of ayahuasca rituals often report insights that enable acceptance of previously denied problems and dysfunctional patterns. The visionary state of consciousness produced by ayahuasca can also provoke reflections on personal relationships which provided the motivation for making the changes necessary to resolve interpersonal problems.

Without the right meaning or action, you’ll feel “high” for a few days afterward. Then, you’ll get back to life and do life things. What was once a “life-altering experience” will soon fade into the static of need to’s, have to’s, and shoulds.

11. HOW (SHOULD) YOU PREPARE FOR AN AYAHUASCA RETREAT?

This is a tricky one. I’m probably not the right guy to ask.

You should prepare, both physically and mentally.

I didn’t.

I mean, how can you really prepare for traveling to another dimension?

Most ayahuasca retreats will have their own preparation guidelines and recommendations, which usually consist of following the Ayahuasca Diet. I’m not going to dive into the details here because I don’t believe it is necessary (probably avoid pork, at the very least).

You should be eating healthy in your life, anyway (no processed foods, limited fried foods and sugar, healthy fats, more fruits and veggies, etc.).

I feel it is more important not to throw your body into some new diet right before you take mind-bending drugs. I’d say, avoid stressing too much about what you eat leading up to your ceremony, but eat a normal, healthy diet (like you always do, right?)

Do what feels right for you.

Side note: the day before I arrived at the ayahuasca retreat location, a retreat helper came to my hotel and had me drink a rather concerning amount of “volcanic water” and jump up and down after each cup I drank. (As I mentioned previously, if you’re going to do ayahuasca, go all-in.) No need to get into details, but I spent most of that day sitting in the bathroom after that. It is meant to cleanse your system for the ceremonies and make the purging less excessive.

As for the mental side of things: I’d say the only thing you’d like to have in your mental toolkit is to have the ability to see your thoughts as thoughts. And to be able to connect with your breath when you need to.

Basically, you should probably have meditated a few (many) times before and know that your brain is one fucking crazy place.

12. HOW TO FIND A SAFE AYAHUASCA RETREAT?

As I mentioned before, you don’t need an ayahuasca retreat that offers volcanic face-cleanse mud baths, hot-yoga-with-coca-leaf classes, or some other unnecessary features — save the thousands of dollars and find a place that offers what you are there for: safe ayahuasca ceremonies with real shamans.

How do you find an ayahuasca retreat like that?

Do your own research.

For now, I’m not going to share the place I went to.

Why would I not share that information?

Partly, I think you should find a retreat that feels right to you and that you think you’ll feel comfortable at.

Another part is selfish: I had one ceremony alone, and my other two were with one other person. I’m afraid to ruin that intimacy for others who happen to stumble on such a gem themselves (or for myself, if I ever return).

A small part of hesitation also comes from the fact that I have no idea who will read this article someday, and I fear that the influx of interest in ayahuasca retreats will bring about some unfavorable people (those who are just seeking to get high or who don’t respect the plant and tradition), and I would like to avoid leading those types to the ayahuasca retreat that changed my life.

But…

I’m not that horrible of a person.

If you are sincere about exploring ayahuasca and really want to know the ayahuasca retreat that I went to, join my newsletter and send me a personal email and we will chat. If you’re serious, I’d love to help.

13. HOW MUCH DOES AN AYAHUASCA RETREAT COST?

The one I did cost $700 USD for four days and three nights — three ayahuasca ceremonies.

It was a two-hour drive outside Cusco, Peru. And since I was traveling in South America, it was easy for me.

Again, if you think you need two or three weeks and feel the need to spend thousands of dollars for “spiritual cleansing,” be my guest.

14. SHOULD YOU TRAVEL TO SOME EXOTIC PLACE IN THE AMAZON JUNGLE?

No.

Well, it’s not necessary. But it wouldn’t hurt.

I’d argue that you’d get a more authentic experience, be farther removed from reality, and increase your chances of having your ceremonies run by real shamans (which is essential), if you head down to areas in South America where its rituals have been practiced for centuries.

But, with ayahuasca becoming more mainstream, (and since you really won’t know where the fuck you are during the ceremonies themselves), finding a safe, comfortable place is enough.

15. THE THING NO ONE TALKS ABOUT DURING AYAHUASCA RETREATS

Other people suck.

Let me explain.

The truth is this: an ayahuasca trip is fucking heavy. If you let it, it can, and will take you beyond the depths of what you thought your mind was capable of. And then some.

But…

Almost every ayahuasca retreat holds group ceremonies — sometimes very large groups. Without a doubt, you will notice other people making sounds and doing crazy things. It will massively impact your experience. And not in a good way.

There is something about the trip that takes you so far into another dimension while simultaneously giving you the ability to snap back into reality when needed, like with disturbances — someone moaning nearby, screaming, crying, or vomiting viciously into a bucket — that you want to do whatever you can to find an ayahuasca retreat that is quiet and peaceful. Simply, look for one that holds small retreats with a limited number of people.

How do I know that other people will affect your experience during an ayahuasca ceremony?

Well, I was lucky.

My first ayahuasca ceremony was alone. At the time, I was terrified and concerned. Now, I see that it was the best way it could have happened.

Why?

On the second and third nights I took ayahuasca, I was joined by another person. He was wonderful. But, I was forced back into reality when he vomited or had to go to the bathroom. It was distracting.

Other people and noises take you out of your mental theater and back into reality.

Is that necessarily a bad thing? If you ask me, yeah, it’s brutal. You might be on the brink of a life-changing realization or deep into solving the riddle of one of your most perplexing childhood memories when someone starts purging into a bucket next to you. Not cool, man. Not cool.

I also know that people can be a distraction because, as I mentioned before, your guides and shaman should walk around and check on you once or twice. When my guide asked me how I was feeling, I immediately snapped out of whatever dream concoction I was experiencing and came back to reality — this was just with them whispering “How are you feeling? I can’t even fathom how disruptive it would be to have dozens of people around me screaming, crying, and vomiting for hours.

No thanks.

One more caveat here regarding ayahuasca retreats with a lot of people: I talked about how it’s the ayahuasca-induced memories and the meaning you give those memories that are what change your life. Thus, when you “debrief” your experience, other people might color your experience with their own thoughts and perspectives — the more people, the more interpretations you might get back. And trust me, you don’t need it. If anything, your shaman and guides will be able to give you the best insights into your visions. However, remember that the shaman, guides, and other people are just sharing their own perspectives. It’s important to trust your shaman and guides. But, it’s also important to trust yourself.

16. THE OTHER THING NO ONE TALKS ABOUT

You actually have (some) control of your experience.

I know, sounds crazy, right?

With all the wild ayahuasca stories online, they make you believe that you completely spiral out of control and out of your mind.

Don’t get me wrong, you do.

But, you do have a sliver of control over the experience. If you can just remember “I am in control,” and remember to open your eyes and reconnect with your breath if things go sideways (which they most certainly will), then you can bring yourself back to Planet Earth.

Did I mention to breathe? Always breathe.

But really, the idea is to completely let go of logic and thought and control, and to just feel your way through the journey.

If you can let go, you’ll be amazed at what you can hold onto.

17. MY FINAL TIPS FOR AN AYAHUASCA RETREAT

Ayahuasca is a DRUG and NOT to be treated lightly.

With that said, here are the rest of my tips:

1. Like sex, you’ll never forget your first. Enjoy it.
2. If it’s your first time, you won’t have any clue what is about to happen to you once you see the bottom of that first empty ayahuasca cup you so willingly gulped down—so stop trying to figure it out.
3. You must have the skills to see your thoughts, control your mind, and come back to the present and your breath. The only way I know how to cultivate those skills is through meditation. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
4. Your one intention for each ceremony will be your lighthouse. Make sure the lamp is strong enough for you to see in the darkest of darks.
5. Take your time to find the right ayahuasca retreat: real shamans, small groups, safe — ayahuasca retreats that have been around for a while and aren’t just trying to cash in on the influx of answer seekers.
6. It’s worth repeating: opt for a small ayahuasca retreat, a place that limits the masses. (I truly could not imagine how terrible it would be doing this with more than a few people. Distracting. Brutal. No thanks.)
7. You don’t need to pay a shit ton for a place that offers mud baths, group hand-holding sessions, or other nonsense. You’re there for one thing. Remember that.
8. Respect the practice 100%. Admittedly, I felt awkward praying to Pachamama (“Earth Mother”) at times, but I went all in. Believe, if only for then.
9. Share everything. You’re going to see and feel some really weird shit. After you settle and process everything, and it’s time to meet with the guides, shaman, or group to discuss your experience, don’t hold anything back — you’ll regret it. (You’re not doing this for anyone’s feedback but to talk through everything, and it’ll help you process your visions and emotions — plus, this is not a time to cower in shyness and let your ego win.)
10. Ask questions: a lot of what happens while you’re at an ayahuasca retreat will be confusing. Don’t be afraid to ask why things are the way they are, why you felt a certain way, or why you shit yourself during your second ceremony. (Again, trust your own intuition about what you saw and felt, but ask for clarity when you need it.)
11. Document the process: Carry a journal with you at all times. Write everything down. Write things down right after the ceremony if you’re up to it, before the ceremony, and throughout the day as random snippets of the previous night’s visions reappear.
12. No phone during your ceremony. Leave it in the room.
13. Let time disappear during your ceremonies. You won’t need it where you’re going.
14. Stay hydrated during the ceremony and your days at the retreat. (I brought a 2L water bottle to each ceremony. It’s necessary. Electrolytes are key.)
15. Go for a walk. During the days, I would go for a walk around the retreat. It helped me think through each experience. Again, I’d leave the phone behind for this and only take your journal.
16. Use your mouth. Let me explain. During one of the ceremonies, I found it incredibly helpful to make popping sounds with my mouth — I’d put some saliva in between my lips, then slowly open my lips until POP. Super weird, I know. But really, it kept me grounded when I needed it.
17. One ayahuasca ceremony is not enough. Three is a lot. Three in a row? Well, it’s definitely not for everyone. Find the right number of ceremonies that you feel comfortable with and space them out as you need.
18. Let me explain that last tip: the first ceremony you ever do, if done properly and you drink enough ayahuasca, should literally knock your socks off (I had socks on when I sat down for my first ceremony. They were not on my feet by the end). You will be so caught up in the intensity of it all that you’re likely to “lose yourself” and miss a lot of important information. I spent much of my first ceremony in true awe. In the following ceremonies, I was still nervously excited (and my socks still came off), but I knew what to expect. Kind of.
19. Seriously, stop researching and trying to figure out what to expect. Everyone’s story is so different and so unique — the more you read and hear about ayahuasca, the more it will hinder your ability to truly feel the experience.
20. In case you missed that last point: do not read articles like this one that inform your expectations. If you have read this far, take some (most) of what I’ve said with a grain of salt. Although, most ayahuasca retreats follow a similar structure, so the information I’ve provided should be helpful. As for the rest? Well, that will be up to you and that crazy brain of yours.

18. HERE’S WHY YOU SHOULD CONSIDER AN AYAHUASCA RETREAT

Ayahuasca will not give you what you want.

She will show you exactly what you need to see. It’s up to you whether you watch in awe or look away in fear.

She will make you feel exactly the way you need to feel to get what you want. It’s up to you to feel and flow or resist and suppress.

She will tell you exactly what you need to hear. She might yell or whisper, but it’s up to you to listen or not.

She won’t look like you expect, whatever those expectations might be, but she will show her face. It might be the ubiquitous snake, puma, or condor of tradition. Or, some vicious-looking, alternate-dimension being that emerges from the blackest darkness and shouts the answer you’ve been looking for your whole life, so loudly that you can feel her spit land definitively on your smiling face.

You will see memories as dreams and dreams as memories, and everything in between.

You will feel things you’ve never felt before.

You will see your mind in such a way that it will be impossible to look at its beauty with the same disregard as you did before you drank that mysterious dark brown liquid in an even more mysterious place.

Why should you do ayahuasca?

Well…

On my first night, at some unknown hour during my first ceremony, alone on a mat somewhere in Peru, with the crescent moon shining magnificently through my windowed view, when the guide asked me how I was feeling, I instinctively whispered back to the shadowy questioner, “I think Mother Ayahuasca should change her name to Mother Answers.” All the while, a smile drawn unbroken on my lips. Everything in my life became clear. It was as though all of the curtains had been completely removed.

Since then, I haven’t been able to come up with a better description of what you’ll get or a better answer to why I think you should consider going to an Ayahuasca Retreat.

Mother Answers — Ha — …I dare say, that Scott-tripping-on-Ayahuasca-alone-in-a-jungle-in-Peru absolutely nailed it.

19. SO…SHOULD YOU DO AN AYAHUASCA RETREAT?

Fuck yes!

What do you have to lose?

(Unless of course, you have some underlying medical condition or mental illness that could be exacerbated by ayahuasca.)

Steve Jobs, when asked about his success, attributed a portion of it to, well, drugs.

“I came of age at a magical time…Our consciousness was raised by Zen, and also by LSD…Taking LSD was a profound experience, one of the most important things in my life. LSD shows you that there’s another side to the coin, and you can’t remember it when it wears off, but you know it. It reinforced my sense of what was important”

With Ayahuasca, though, not only do you remember the other side of the coin but also you feel it.

So perhaps, if you’ve forgotten what is important — what is meaningful — Ayahuasca just might hold the answers you are searching for.

Good luck! You just might need it to help you find what it means to live meaningfully. Again.

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