It Was Never Fear Holding You Back. It Was This

So what is this?: Resistance = (Desire 1–10) x [(Explicit Knowledge) + (Tacit Knowledge)] x (Focus + Time) = Progress

We’ll get to that in a moment. First, let’s see how we got there.

It’s common, actually so common that is appears as fact, that whatever it is that you are not doing, it is fear that is holding you back. Fear that is preventing you from having or living your dream life, going after everything you’ve ever wanted, or simply, just starting.

It’s fear.

Always fear.

But what if it’s not?

What if it’s not fear holding you back? What if it’s just a different piece of a very simple puzzle?

Fear is what you feel when a bear is chasing you. When you trip going down the stairs and for that brief moment…. When you are walking alone, late at night, in a strange, unknown place and a figure emerges from the shadows and starts coming toward you.

That’s fear.

I’ve heard it said that the body and mind don’t know the difference between fear and excitement.

I beg to differ.

And so does that shadowy figure walking towards you.

I’ve felt both, fear and excitement, and I can tell you, they are different. Just because our mind might look the same under a scanner when we feel fear or excitement, does not mean they are the same.

It’s how you interpret those feelings that matters. And it is necessary for the proliferation of humanity that you interpret fear and excitement differently. You feel the difference and that is all that matters.

So if it hasn’t been fear holding you back all of this time, what was?

You suck.

Yes, you read that right. You suck. That is what is holding you back.

It’s not fear. It never was.

You don’t fear that you suck. You just suck.

What’s holding you back is not fear. It’s a matter of not knowing what to do or how to do it. Not fear.

This is an important distinction.

All too often in the self-help space I see quick quips, motivational videos, and motivational speakers all posturing that it is fear holding you back. Fear of what others might think. Fear of failure. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of not being loved.

That is wrong.

Being shunted by the tribe and outcasted to the outskirts of the community, left to fend for yourself and survive in the scary, vicious, and dangerous world beyond where you will probably get eaten by a bear, well, that’s fear.

Today, that doesn’t fit. Not just because you live in a world absent of ferocious animals that try to eat you on your way to work, murderous disease, famine and war, but because the fear that you believe is holding you back is not fear at all.

You are not afraid of public speaking. You just don’t know how to do it or what to say. You suck at it.

You are not afraid to talk to that guy or girl you find attractive. You just don’t know what the fuck to say to them to not sound like an idiot. You suck at it.

You are not afraid to pursue your dreams to start that business. You just have no clue what to do or how to even start. You suck at it.

You are not afraid to go meet that new group or join that community of people. You just have no idea what you are supposed to do or how to go about doing it. You suck at it.

You are not afraid to get up and dance in front of everyone at the party because you think you might look ridiculous. You’re just terrible at dancing because you’ve never practiced or put in the time and effort to get really good. You suck at it.

We are not afraid of doing the things we are good at, so, not being good at them is the problem. Not fear.

If you started and ran 10 successful and thriving businesses, would you be afraid to start another one? Of course not. Why? Because you would already know what to do, how to do it, and have the skills to be successful.

It’s not fear. You lack the skills.

People are not afraid of pursuing new skills. They just don’t know what the fuck to do.

If you were really, really good at speaking and did thousands of speeches, would you be afraid to get on stage and speak? Probably not.

If you were the greatest stand-up comedian and performed thousands of shows, would you be afraid to get on stage tonight and crush? Probably not.

If you already jumped out of a plane hundreds of times, would you be afraid to do it again? Probably not.

If you’ve created hundreds of social media videos would you be afraid to pop on camera right now and record another one. Probably not.

Why not?

Because you’d have experience.

You’d know what to do.

You’d know how to do it.

You lack experience. Not fear.

And what is holding you back from getting experience?

Not knowing exactly what to do, how to do it, and knowing that you will get good with time and effort.

Here’s the formula:

The lower your score, the more resistance.

The higher your score, the more progress.

And the cool thing about progress is that it compounds over time, and you need less time to get better results as you continue to increase your “experience score”.

There is no fear in that equation. There never was.

I promise you, if you go learn what to do, then how to do it, then go do it, a little bit at a time, fear won’t be there waiting for you.

In fact, it never was.

I’m not out to change everything in the self-help space, just a lot of it.

Self-help would have you believe that fear is holding you back from everything, that you are afraid of everything.

You aren’t. Don’t worry.

You just don’t know what to do or how to do it, yet. That’s all.

Self-improvement, as I like to call it, has saved me. It gave me an entirely new perspective on life. But as I look back on how far I’ve come, how far I still want to go, and how so much of the noise out there is completely wrong, or at least useless, I’m on a mission to get people to ask more questions.

Ask about advice before following blindly.

Ask about information before gobbling it up.

Ask about what people are saying before taking it as law.

Ask yourself, Am I really afraid?

Ask.

You might be surprised what you find?

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