How Travel Changes You (And It’s Not What You Think)
There is this pervasive myth around travel that assumes people travel and experience the vastness and complexities of the world in order to “find themselves.”
That’s silly.
In fact, this isn’t just for travel either: it seems everyone, everywhere is just trying to “find themself”.
“Wherever You Go, There You Are”
The thing that most people so often forget is that you go with you wherever you are.1
This is true for travel—there is no finding “you” when “you” are already there.
So if you aren’t “finding yourself” while wandering around the streets of Hanoi wearing the same soot-covered $1 sandals you’ve had for 3.5 months even though one of the prongs has come unhinged, rocking a cheap $2 tank top and an even cheaper sunburn, wearing a giant sun hat while haphazardly dodging motorbikes whizzing by you in all directions, then what the hell are you doing?
Did I say you can’t find yourself while traveling? I meant it.
Kind of.
But maybe not when you are wearing that ridiculous sun hat, though.
You don’t “find yourself” when you travel. You “lose yourself”.
You have no choice. Travel forces it upon you.
Travel shatters the perception of who you thought you were: that person who got up at 7 am every morning, showered in a nice warm shower, then ate a yummy breakfast with some berries before getting in your car and driving off to your 9 to 5 to work a job that you tell yourself you enjoy—because, hey, it pays the bills—no longer applies in the chaotic urban jungle when you are dealing with sore feet, languages you don’t understand, food that is still alive and moving—“What the hell even is that thing? Do you eat it?”—with bites on your legs the size of golf balls with puss coming out that a “pharmacist” tells you, “Okey. Okey. No worry, no worry. Be fine. Eat this. No problem.”
Travel So You Can Lose Yourself
Yeah, that person you were before is long gone—you’ll never find them again.
And that’s a good thing.
That person standing in that pharmacy in a dumb hat is a different person. You are a different person. You have to be.
And that is a good thing.
You see, whether you know it or not, you are incredibly adaptable and resilient. As a matter of fact, you are way more adaptable and resilient than you can even imagine. I’m talking about communicating with locals in a strange body-miming feat of wonder and then scarfing down a plate of mysterious goop, and, amazingly, finding it quite enjoyable. Then head back to your room for a freezing cold shower with just enough water pressure to get the water out the nozzle while standing next to a giant bucket of water that’s needed to “flush” the hole in the ground (Err—”toilet”) that you are currently straddling as you shower, and, not even thinking twice about it.
Long way from that warm shower and yummy breakfast back home.
But that’s the thing, you could do it. You would do it. You’d adapt. And you’d change…for the better.
Whether meandering the wonders of a Turkish Bazaar, taking in the sounds and scents of Mumbai, or simply watching a Thai sunset, you are losing yourself. Little by little. Piece by piece.
Uncertainty Will Shape You for the Better
While traveling, you begin to lose that version of yourself that you’ve always known.2 The version that always did the same things, ate the same foods, drank the same drinks, hung out with the same people, lived in the same environment, and laughed the same laugh. The one that never questioned the world. The one who never really knew who they were in the first place.
There is no constant in travel. The environment around you is in a never-ending flux: the people change, the food changes, the view changes, you change.
How travel changes you is through uncertainty.
Uncertainty. All day every day—you begin to lose yourself amidst the chaos.
And that is a very good thing.
The uncertainty forces you to question yourself and who you are, what you like, and what, if anything, do you actually know about yourself. It forces you to adapt. To grow—I wonder why I liked that food so much? Did I really enjoy just sitting on the beach for eight hours doing nothing but pouring sand into my belly button? Why did I have so much fun at the art museum? Are all people this nice? I wonder if I could live here? I’d like to learn another language. Would I actually want to live in a city? Are they talking about me over there? Did they just say that I have a sandy belly button?
The Secret to Travel Is Letting Go
You see, travel is the single best thing you can do in your life. But it has nothing to do with finding yourself, or finding anything really.
Travel is a journey to lose your limited perceptions of yourself and the world—all the things you think you already know about yourself and the world but could never possibly know because you haven’t put yourself in enough random situations, in strange places, and with different people.
You can’t know how the world will change you unless you let it change you.
How do you know that you wouldn’t go running and screaming with your arms flailing overhead when a giant Macaque jumps down from the sky and lands on your head, nearly knocking you unconscious, only to look up and see that it just wanted your sunscreen and you need to get it back so you bravely reach out to snatch it back and quickly realize that it will probably rip your face off, all the while a group of Chinese tourists are taking pictures, pointing, and laughing at the entire situation that is unfolding? (Oops.)
The thing is, you don’t.
You can’t.
Unless you are willing to lose yourself. In a forest. With wild monkeys.
Know Why You Want Travel to Change You
Travel is so much more than near-face-losing experiences. So much more.3
But you need to know how travel changes you, and more importantly, why you want it to change you.
You aren’t setting out to travel to “find yourself.” You aren’t trying to find anything. What you really want is to see what you are made of. To see who emerges in each unique situation. See who arises from the chaos and reveal different versions of yourself.
People are curious. They secretly want to know what version of themselves will “show up” when they remove the 9 to 5, the boss, the pressure, the comfort, or even the language. They want to know who is in there.
When you place yourself in the hands of chaos and uncertainty that are travel, you allow yourself the opportunity to “turn up” as someone completely different than any “you” that you’d ever imagined before. You turn out to be so many different versions of yourself that you begin to lose the previous version of yourself.
But slowly, piece by piece, situation by situation, new friends by new friends, like by like, dislike by dislike, experience by experience, meal by meal, you start to fit things together into a more precise, yet expansive version of yourself—you grow in ways you never could have predicted.
You become a stronger, more complete version of yourself.
You haven’t “found” anything. You’ve lost yourself beyond recognition only to build a more open, less judgmental, confident you.
A version you could never have discovered had you stayed where you were: comfortable and safe.
Travel changes you…
If you let it.
And that’s a very, very good thing.
- https://markmanson.net/wanderlust ↩︎
- https://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/subtle-art-travel/ ↩︎
- https://markmanson.net/how-to-quit-your-job-and-travel-the-world ↩︎
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