Unfu*k Yourself by Gary John Bishop

Unfu*k Yourself Summary in 10 Words

Seven powerful beliefs you need to change your life. Today.

Unfu*k Yourself Summary: 5 Main Ideas and Key Points

1. The beliefs we have about ourselves and the world shape everything.
2. Love the life you have, not some imaginary one that you expect to have.
3. Understand that your mind wants you to win and that you are capable of the life you want, but nothing matters without action.
4. We need the right self-talk to align our thoughts with taking the right action.
5. You have to be willing to embrace uncertainty to get the life that you want and be unwilling to accept all the negative self-talk and inaction that has put you where you are now.

Unfu*k Yourself Summary in 4 Sentences

1. Gary John Bishop is intense, and in this book, he tells you, in no uncertain terms, that you are the problem.
2. He outlines “seven assertions” that you need to have to align yourself with change.
3. He is a very intense and blunt human, so when he tells you that it all comes down to action and that if you do not take action on your thoughts then nothing changes, you believe him. (From the beginning of the book: “This is a conversational slap from the universe to wake you up to your true potential, to unfu*k yourself and get spectacularly into your life.”)
4. The book can be boiled down to him having you ask yourself: What am I willing to do and what am I not willing to accept of myself, adjusting our internal dialogue to reflect those new empowering thoughts, then taking action.

Top 3 Quotes

1. “You have the life you’re willing to put up with.”
2. “You change your life by doing, not by thinking about doing.”
3. “Remember, everything is solve-able, and if you can’t see a solution, it only means you haven’t worked it out yet.”
4. Bonus: “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy. You are 100 percent responsible for what you do with your life.”

2 Ways Unfu*k Yourself Will…Err—Unfu*k You

1. It will get you to take action, and that is all life is.
2. You will start to notice all the ways that you are getting in your own way. Like unconsciously picking up your phone and scrolling.

1 Thing To Implement After Reading This Unfu*k Yourself Summary

1. Take one action today, right now, that will move you closer to what you want. Go. Now.
2. Bonus: I would write down the seven assertions on a post-it and put it somewhere where you will see it daily. I did.

The Rating Explained

I gave this a 4.5-Stars: Great rating because I like Gary John Bishop. I heard him on Tom Bilyeu’s Impact Theory podcast and I loved his no-nonsense approach to change. This was early in my reading journey, so I naturally gave it a high rating (I think we tend to do that with things that find us early on any journey since they are usually most memorable because they are so new), and after re-thinking the rating, I kept it. You get exactly what you sign up for when you get a Gary John Bishop book: a no-nonsense, no-joking approach to getting your sh*t together. I listened to this as an audiobook and it definitely sounds like he is yelling at you, and for me, I needed it at the time. It’s a good book for that reason alone: it’s uniqueness.

Who Should Read It?

• People who like his intense, no-nonsense approach to changing lives. Most of the self-improvement books seem to ease you into change. This one doesn’t. Right off the bat you understand that you are the problem and that you will need to take some responsibility for where you are in life, and if you aren’t ready for that, then probably best to not add this book to your reading list.
• People that want to change their lives and want to have seven practical, and useful, questions to put into place to guide them.
• If you want to change your life, it’s worth a read.

Unfu*k Yourself Summary, Review, and Notes

My summaries are organized by common ideas and threads not by chapter. I have found this to greatly benefit understanding and recall. They also include the essential lessons and key passages from the book. My Unfu*k Yourself Summary, Quotes, Notes, and Thoughts follow:

The 7 Assertions

1. I am willing.
2. I am wired to win.
3. I got this.
4. I embrace the uncertainty.
5. I am not my thoughts, I am what I do.
6. I am relentless.
7. I expect nothing and accept everything.

In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.

Theodore Roosevelt

Circumstances don’t make the man; they only reveal him to himself.

Epictetus

Self-Talk

• Before I read this, I literally had no clue that we talk to ourselves. This idea coupled with beginning to meditate exploded my mind: how was I living and functioning without ever knowing that? (Hard to remember what life was like before awareness and realizing that self-talk is a constant in our lives.)
• We need to use the right words when talking to ourselves. And this is a forever thing in life. We need to constantly monitor our thoughts. Even once we build the right thoughts it still takes constant monitoring to make sure we don’t slide off the rails.
• “Think about this: your thoughts (and the resulting feelings) are not always aligned with what is in the best interests of your life, your health, your finances, or your potential.”
• I return to this thought often as I am continuously changing my life: most times (and I mean many times) I don’t feel like starting or doing the thing. But once I start, I’m always glad I did. Hence, my motto: Always Do. I constantly tell myself to Always Do because I know for sure that once I do it, whatever it is, I will be so happy that I did. It’s the thing that you know you need to do, that you want to do, but are hesitating on. Always Do is the why behind that action: it reminds you that when you start and finish you will always be glad you did it; yes, even if you fu*k it up and fail.
• You have to ask yourself, “Am I willing?” to do this, to make this change, to put up with my life the way it is right now?
• This is important to ask and be honest. Many of us want a billion dollars, but are you truly willing to do what it takes? Honestly?
• And ask yourself, “What am I not willing to put up with anymore?”
• Game-changer here: when you step back and look at your life and see what you are unwilling to accept any longer from yourself, you can start to take some action in the direction that you do want to go.
• We need to ask ourselves the tough questions. It’s hard and we want to avoid asking them so we don’t have to 1) answer them, or 2) avoid answering them and then feel guilty about not answering them correctly or rationalizing some bullsh*t excuse.
• “Sometimes our mind is like the equivalent of a funhouse mirror, distorting and contorting and blurring our lives and our potential.”
• Generate my state of willingness = openness and readiness. Engage with life and see a situation from a new perspective.

Your Mind Is Wired to Win

When you have set out the goals that you are claiming as yours in life and, more importantly, relentlessly taking the actions to produce, it’s only a matter of when. We are wired to win. You are wired to win. Define your game. Embrace the challenge. And strive to understand yourself in deeper and more meaningful ways. True understanding of yourself and your personal constraints allows for ever unfolding degrees of freedom and success. The more aware you become of your hard wiring, the more space and opportunity become available in those areas. Step out there. Trust yourself. Give yourself fully to your vast capacity for victory. Set the the challenge of winning in new and exciting ways. Demand your greatness of yourself and repeat after me: I am wired to win.

Gary John Bishop

Being Relentless

• “Here’s the deal: true relentlessness comes when the only thing you have left is relentlessness. When it seems all is lost and all hope and evidence for success have long since vanished, relentlessness is the fuel that drives you through.”
• “The Sword of Last Chance” is an idea similar to this that I came across in a little-known book called The Motivation Hacker and it really stuck with me: it’s the idea that sometimes we just need to have no other option left but to change and to do what is necessary – what Bishop is talking about here as relentlessness.

Action and Uncertainty

• “Our biggest successes are born out of discomfort, uncertainty, and risk.”
• This is why I went to pursue standup comedy. I thought long and hard about the one thing that terrified me the most (actually I didn’t have to think long about it), and that was doing standup comedy. Looking back, I’m so glad I did it, as is usually the case when looking back on things; good old hindsight bias.
• “You change your life by doing, not by thinking about doing. In fact, when you become closely associated with the actions you are taking, something magical starts to become apparent. Thoughts without actions are just that, thoughts, and your negative thoughts about yourself, others, or your circumstances will have no impact on your success as long as you leave them where they lie.”
• A lot of truth here. The funny thing about change is that you think you know what it looks like and where you will end up, but as soon as you start making some changes, a whole new world opens up. I have seen this recently with doing new things, like my Always Do Podcast where I just started it for fun, and soon after, a whole bunch of new opportunities appeared that would have never existed had I not taken a few steps forward.
• The point is, take a few steps forward in your life then look around.
• “Most of the time, the task we’re actually facing is a lot simpler than we think it is. The problem is, we usually don’t take the time to really look at it.”
• This reminds me of the very true quote by Seneca: “We suffer more in imagination than in reality.”
• “There aren’t any road signs when you’re trekking through uncharted territory. It’s all discovery and exploration.”
• “There is no greater knowledge than the knowledge you have verified for yourself, in your own experience.”
• This is the only way to learn: verify for yourself.
• “It’s not the task that’s important, it’s the life that’s available after that’s at stake.”
• Uncertainty is the only place where new happens.
• “There is only exploring – there really is no destination If you want to improve, be content to be thought of as stupid and foolish. F*** other people’s opinions.”
• I am not my thoughts. I am what I do.
• As an (ex) overthinker, I think about this one a lot, that I am only my actions. It is always lingering under the surface of my thoughts now because I planted it there. I also have a post-it on my mirror that I read every morning that says, “Don’t think. Do.”
• More and more, I am starting to question the importance of thoughts at all…

The Curse of Expectations

• “Love the life you have, not the one you expected to have.”
• “I expect nothing and accept everything.” Expect things to go wrong and know how to respond when they do.
• “Here’s the coaching—CUT IT OUT! Let go of those expectations NOW!”
• Zero expectations. Just show up and do. That’s it.
• Tony Robbins is often quoted as saying, “Change expectations for appreciation.”
• I have mentioned this to a few people and one of the most common rebuffs is that people shouldn’t just roll over and appreciate when someone is treating them poorly, and I believe that is a misunderstanding of what this point means. It means to just appreciate people and situations for what they are and not try to change them. Do not try to force your expectations on a person or situation. Obviously, if you are in a bad situation remove yourself. Appreciation does not mean acceptance.

Unfu*k Yourself Summary Final Lessons

Buy the Book

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Other Books by Gary John Bishop

• Do The Work: The Official Unrepentant, Ass-Kicking, No-Kidding, Change-Your-Life Sidekick to Unfuk Yourself* by Gary John Bishop (Print | Ebook | Audiobook)
• Ask Gary Fu*king Anything: Unplugged Answers to Life’s Stickiest Dilemmas by Gary John Bishop (Audiobook)
• Wise as Fu*k: Simple Truths to Guide You Through the Sh*tstorms of Life by Gary John Bishop (Print | Ebook | Audiobook)
• Love Unfu*ked: Getting Your Relationship Sh*t Together by Gary John Bishop (Print | Ebook | Audiobook)

More Book Summaries

• The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey
• Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey

If You Liked This Unfu*k Yourself Summary Then…

• Can’t Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds by David Goggins (Print | Ebook | Audiobook)
• The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson (Print | Ebook | Audiobook)
• Everything Is F*cked: A Book About Hope by Mark Manson (Print | Ebook | Audiobook)

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*If you use the affiliate links in here a magic genie will suddenly appear in front of me granting me unlimited wishes, at which point I will then immediately wish for something like 100 billion dollars, a submarine, a funny hat, or something cool like that. So just assume that if you use the links to buy anything I make tons of money and become filthy rich. Besides this last statement, I practice radical honesty, and anything I ever recommend is something I stand by.